Everyone has an opinion. It’s almost like they’ve lived their own lives and not mine!! Weird, right? How could that happen? We have all lived our own lives, and therefore have our very own personalized perspective of the world surrounding us. The experiences I’ve had shaped me into the person I am today. The things you have gone through developed you. So, why then does someone else’s opinions of me matter more than mine of myself?

I had someone call me vain today. My hands were full of trash bags I had just emptied from the gym…. I wasn’t even wearing makeup. I was hurt that anyone could think that about me. I was angry that she dared judge me! How dare she! Thing is, her life led her to form that opinion, mine led me to be offended at that. Now I came to a fork in the road. I could have let this comment become internalized and believed it, or I could realize “What people think of me is none of my business.” I, happily, chose to let it slide off me, like oil and water.

You see, what I think about me is what matters. There was a point in my life when I couldn’t think of one solitary good thing about myself. I was too fat, I was stupid, I couldn’t do anything right, I was scared of showing my true self because I KNEW I would come up short on every way you could have measured.

At this point I stopped eating. I thought if I could just change my appearance, just be pretty enough, I could be likeable… Turns out, I was a good person. I just let what I thought others thought mattered more. It’s not like someone specifically told me I was fat or ugly. But I knew I wasn’t “good enough”. I internalized opinions that came from outside of me. I attempted to dance to someone else’s drum.

I can’t tell you a time my life was worse! I hated myself, I was unhappy, and just over all miserable. I decided I was done. I was worth more than that. I started to find my own path. I started with something simple. I decided I would wear the clothes that I wanted. I wouldn’t worry about if they were “fashionable” or “stylish” or “in”. I would wear only things that I wanted to. I was ready to be comfortable in my own skin.

I have found my drum. My heart. I dance to it’s beautiful music. It plays so that only I, and people with stethoscopes, can hear. I live life to the fullest extent I can. For me, that may mean I will offend people that think I should listen to what they think of me and change myself to fit in their neat little box.

As a person who loves my full self (including appearance), I will post pictures on social media of me. While I get some love and support I also get nasty and rude comments. I don’t know how many people tell me I’m “too skinny” or “don’t lift too heavy! You’ll get too big!” I stopped counting. One memorable time I had a single comment “UGLY!!”. Well, that was uncalled for and kinda out of the blue. It took me off guard. I was flabbergasted anyone could say that! Turns out, I don’t really care why he thought that. I do wonder why he thought it was ok to say that. But, I found, it doesn’t matter why people say cruel things. I don’t need to believe it. I now know that I MATTER. I love myself just as I am. Odd quirks and all! Anyone who spends much time with me will find I have a few quirks… I will spend time every day bettering myself. I know I have room to improve, but I don’t need to listen and internalize the voices that tell me I’m not good enough.

Life is too short to not believe in yourself. I do my best every day to be a good human being. That’s good enough for me.